12 Year Bliss

August 25, 2019

     August is a big month for me. It starts with my Birthday, BACK TO SCHOOL! and our Anniversary. I was doing the math in my head to figure out how long we've been married. 12 years! Holy Shit! That's actually long enough for someone to ask "How have you stayed married for so long?" HAHA funny story actually.

    

     I don't know what pissed me off this time, but I was stomping through the house carrying, dragging years of baggage with me along the way. So I just slipped into a little fantasy date with some hot-bodied, faceless stranger. 

      

   Side note - I didn't spend much time in the dating field. My approach was to get in, locate the best one I could find and get the hell out. Sure I made a couple trips back and forth. But I located a pretty good one, wrestled him out the door and became a Mrs. a few weeks after my 22nd Birthday .(holy shit I was a baby!) Given my inexperience and inability to waste time in meaningless conversation even my fantasy dates are awkward. SO back to the hot-bodied, faceless man, who was about to offer me everything I deserved in a relationship. 


      I sit down at a round table covered in a clean, pressed white cloth, flowers, and wine. Nothing remotely close to what I would actually want on a date. Like I've mentioned  though he's got a hot body under his suit and tie ehh and I can't see him from the neck up. He starts mumbling some shit questions about my name or interests and I cut straight to the point. 

     

     Were you ever a dickhead in your 20s? 


     He gives me a blank stare. get it? because he's faceless! haha  and I seriously laugh out loud in the middle of my kitchen.


     At that exact moment I unpacked all those years of baggage. If I wasn't concerned about how a new man behaved in his 20s why in the hell was I still packing around past hurts from when my honey was in his 20s. Of course early 30s Gina wouldn't take any shit from a 20-something year old male. But I am no longer with a man in his 20s.  I am married to a man quickly approaching his 40s hehe and he's a hardworking, incredible man. We have​  a beautiful life and family that we have work hard to create. Carrying around all that baggage was only weighing me down. It was preventing me from loving him as much as I actually do and also blocking me from feeling all the love he has for me. Of course I'm sure he'd love another opportunity with the hot-bodied, pre-mom he married so long ago. But hot-damn it feels good to be headed in the direction we are, together.

And that my friends is how I have managed to stay married so long as I have 💋💋💋