Do or Die - False Start #3

August 2, 2019

     Every time I think I am ready to click publish on my website my world seems to start falling apart. I hesitate and wonder how on earth am I going to promote kindness and simultaneously be on a fucking rampage. So, as I sit here on the eve of my 34th birthday I think it’s do or die time!      Which snowballed into the other do or dies in my life. Sure do or die seems a pretty dramatic but like I said I’m on a fucking rampage. Sure none of these things will actually cause my death, but when piled on top of each other I definitely feel like I’m dying or at the very least not living as happily as I would like to be.

Do or Dies for my 34th year

Breathe- not just breathe but really breathe. Waiting until I’m hyperventilating to really focus on it isn’t going to cut it anymore. I’m talking about those deep, purposeful breathes. Sucking in as much air as I can. Filling myself up from my nose to my toes. Not rushing my breath or wasting it. It might sound a little silly, but I think if I start small and stake claim to my breathing it will become easier for me to stake claim to other things in my life as well. I could also stake claim to my time and my space. The things I have so easily handed over to others, I can claim back as my own. AHHHHhhhhhh! How refreshing! 

Shower, Bath, and Shave Regularly – It’s crazy how quickly my mental health begins to fade when I can’t get enough time for a shower. My options are stay up late, wake up early, or expect a constant parade of bullshit through the bathroom if I attempt to slip in during daylight hours. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I have decided I am no longer willing to trade my mental health or my sleep. If they want a front row seat to my bathroom activities they can take it up with their therapist later in life!

     Allow others to Do or Die - I know, I know! I am responsible for three kiddos under the age of 9 so I can't actually let them do or die. But there will absolutely be more DOING and TRYING on the part of the people I love the most. I don't have to drop everything I am doing and run to the rescue of whoever is screaming MOM! MOMMY! MOTHER! (unless of course someone is actually dying)

     CREATE - quite possibly my favorite! Creating fuels me. I must flip my to-do list and put myself first! Instead of tackling the bullshit and then cramming my creative time into the leftover spaces of my schedule. I will section off my creative time in the beginning of my day to fuel me through whatever gets thrown at me along the way.

     Whoops I almost forgot one. Stop looking at the healthy food I eat as punishment for my current body and start viewing it as the fuel for the body I want to have. 

What are your Do or Dies? and how can they help you to begin feeling like you are fully living?